How to Challenge Abortion Stigma and Change the Conversation
The way we talk about abortion matters. Here’s how to use language that supports, empowers, and normalizes abortion care.
Are you always looking for a way to get involved in the fight for abortion and reproductive rights? Are you itching for more information on how to be a proper and productive advocate? Same. Last week, I attended a virtual training held by Abortion Forward, an Ohio organization that aims to expand and protect abortion access, on how to bust abortion stigma. I found the information so valuable that I wanted to share what I learned with y’all!
Be sure to head over to Abortion Forward’s website to learn more about them and give them some love. They’re doing AMAZING work!
What is abortion stigma?
Abortion stigma can be defined as a set of negative beliefs and attitudes about abortion that can cause shame, isolation, and discomfort. It can affect people who have had abortions, people who provide abortions, and others associated with abortion.
Abortion stigma can be hidden in everyday language. Specially, it can show up in language that’s used to justify someone’s abortion. For example:
“I’m against abortion after the first trimester, unless it’s for the health and/or safety of the mother.”
“I’m pro-choice, but I think abortion should be safe, legal, and rare.”
Someone else’s abortion is none of your business. It doesn’t need to be justified. This type of language suggests that abortion is only acceptable under extreme circumstances, which can discredit the choices of those who seek abortions for other personal or financial reasons. As a reminder, if you don’t support abortion, don’t get one AND keep your mouth shut about other’s decisions.
The stigma also shows up when people characterize abortion as a tragic and life-dooming experience. For example:
“Abortion is the hardest decision someone can make.”
“No one wants to have an abortion. They wouldn’t choose it if they had more support from their partner, family, friends, church, community, government, etc.”
Characterizing abortion as such is actually a main tactic used by anti-abortion lobbyists. This framing reinforces the idea that abortion is inherently painful, shameful, or regrettable, which isn’t true for everyone. In reality, many people feel relief, confidence, and even empowerment after having an abortion.
5 Key Things to Remember When Talking About Abortion
1. Avoid language that separates abortions by “bad” versus “good”.
All abortions are valid, and people make the decision to have one for a variety of reasons - none of which should be judged as more or less deserving. Instead of reinforcing a hierarchy of “good” versus “bad” abortions, we should acknowledge that every person has the right to make decisions about their own body and future, without needing to justify their reasons to others. Using neutral and affirming language helps ensure that all abortion experiences are respected and free from stigma.
2. Women are not the only people who get abortions.
Inclusive language isn’t just about being politically correct - it’s about acknowledging reality and ensuring that everyone has equal access to reproductive healthcare without unnecessary barriers or stigma. When we assume that only women need abortion care, we risk erasing the experiences of trans and non-binary people, who already face higher levels of discrimination in healthcare settings.
Using gender-neutral language, such as “people who have abortions” instead of just “women who have abortions”, helps ensure that all individuals seeking this care feel seen, respected, and included. So, let’s remember to be inclusive with our language, okay?
3. Abortion is hard for some people and very easy for others.
It’s important to recognize that much of the distress some people feel about abortion comes not from the procedure itself, but from the stigma and judgment imposed by society. Harmful messaging, misinformation, and external pressures can make an otherwise straightforward medical decision feel filled with guilt or shame. As one participant in the training shared, “The only scary/worrying thing about my experience was the crowd of protestors outside the clinic.” This highlights how external factors, like judgment from others, often create the biggest barriers to a smooth and stress-free experience. The goal should always be to create an environment where individuals can make decisions about their own bodies without fear, shame, or unnecessary obstacles.
4. Abortion storytelling helps end stigma.
The movement is always looking for people to tell their stories. The whole reason I became open and accepting of abortion is because of these storytellers. I grew up in the Catholic church and was taught early on that abortion was simply “killing babies”. On top of that, I avidly avoided the topic. But, I had a friend in high school who told me her abortion story and it gave me a perspective I never heard before. I’m so grateful for her strength and her trust in me, because in that moment, I became pro-abortion. If you live in Ohio, have had an abortion, and are interested in becoming a ~formalized~ abortion storyteller, check out Patients to Advocates.
*Here’s me dropping our most recent episode where our guest, Allie Phillips, shares her gut-wrenching abortion story*
5. Say abortion when you mean abortion!
Ahhhh. I love this one. It was really hard for me when I started my journey of being a reproductive rights and abortion advocate. I always defaulted to “pro-choice” and if I ever had to say the word “abortion” out loud, I would literally lower my voice like it was a bad word and I was in front of young children.
But as pro-choice advocates, we actually have to say the word “abortion” out loud. We are pro-choice AND pro-abortion. There are many reproductive choices people can make, therefore we are pro-choice. We support abortion and believe in people’s access to abortion, therefore we are pro-abortion. Say abortion when you mean abortion. It’s not a scary word. It’s not a bad word. In fact, anti-abortion extremists use the word “abortion” more than pro-choice advocates do. How much more? FOUR TIMES MORE. Thanks to this, they have been able to stigmatize abortion so deeply that even supporters feel awkward or ashamed when talking about it. Let’s take the word “abortion” back from them and not let them use it to weaken our cause and passion.
*Here’s me dropping a relevant and incredible podcast episode from one of my new favorite podcasts, Diabolical Lies*
How can you help bust abortion stigma?
Great question! The best way to bust abortion stigma is to talk to people about abortion. (As I was typing this, in my head I was like, “The best way to spread Christmas cheer is singing loud for all to hear” #iykyk). Yes, this can and will be awkward. Don’t expect you or anyone in the conversation to be completely comfortable with it, especially the first time. But don’t worry! Practice makes perfect.
Here are some tips to help make these conversations go as smoothly as possible:
Find common ground. Try to find something you all agree on to ease into the conversation. Do you agree there should be more comprehensive sex education in schools? Do you agree everyone should have easy access to contraceptives?
Ask questions. Repeat what you think they’re saying back to them in different words. Make sure you understand their viewpoint. The conversation won’t last long and may not be civil if there’s misunderstanding on either end.
Actively listen. Truly hear them out by respectfully listening with the intent to understand rather than to respond. If you are actively listening and not trying to form a response as they’re talking, you’ll be better able to tailor your response to fit the conversation. Ensuring the other person feels heard is crucial to having a productive conversation.
Don’t be defensive. This one is hard for me, because I so badly want people to see and understand my perspective. But it’s important to not get defensive. If you feel yourself getting defensive, take a deep breath and/or walk away and try to engage in the conversation later.
Meet people where they’re at. Not everyone starts from the same place in conversations about abortion. Some may have deeply ingrained beliefs shaped by religion, culture, or personal experience. Instead of dismissing or confronting them aggressively, approach conversations with curiosity and empathy.
Understand your own values. Take time to reflect on your own beliefs and where they come from before engaging in these conversations. What experiences have shaped your perspective? What biases might you hold?
Consider your audience. There are some people out there who will not change their mind on abortion. Don’t burnout on those conversations. Put up boundaries to protect your peace so you can continue to have productive conversations about abortion.
Build trust. People are more open to meaningful conversations when they feel safe and respected. Avoid shame or judgment, and instead, foster a sense of understanding. When people know they won’t be attacked for their views, they’re more likely to reconsider them.
Speak honestly. Listen honestly. Authentic conversations require both courage and humility. A genuine dialogue means allowing space for complexity, nuance, and even discomfort - that’s where real change happens.
Busting abortion stigma isn’t always easy, but it’s necessary. The more we talk about abortion openly, without shame or hesitation, the more we push back against the harmful narratives that keep people misinformed and isolated. Whether it’s correcting stigmatizing language, sharing stories, or simply saying the word “abortion” with confidence, every conversation matters. So, let’s keep talking, keep learning, and keep fighting for a future where abortion is seen for what it truly is—healthcare, a human right, and a personal decision that deserves respect and protection!
Resources
Abortion Stigma Resources
Abortion Storyteller Information & Resources
Up-to-date list of Ohio abortion clinics, abortion funds, practical support, and trans resources
Progressive Ohio Organizations
Reproductive Rights & Justice
Abortion Funds & Practical Support
Other Allies
Follow Abortion Forward! (@abortionforward on everything)
Here is my podcast on abortion truth inspired by leftist activists. Thank you. It helps others know what is real. https://soberchristiangentlemanpodcast.substack.com/p/abortion-truth-my-take-on-the-inconvenient